


My dear, i'll be there soon.

by stydiastydia



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/M, written for the 2017 stydia big bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9632819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stydiastydia/pseuds/stydiastydia
Summary: When Lydia turns eighteen her mark appears on her wrist: 500.500 days left and she still has not met him. She isn’t sure how to describe her mark because it keeps changing every day. It’s not permanent and at the same time, it is. The days change and the number goes down but she doesn’t feel her skin burning. It’s something worse: it’s one more day without him.Stydia Soulmate Au.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!   
> I had a great time writing this fic and I hope you guys like it. I wouldn't have done it without my beta reader queenlydiastilinski. Thank you Elsa! Also, thank you to Rachel (stiles-lydia) for creating this amazing gifset for this fic.   
> (http://stiles-lydia.com/post/156999375382/my-dear-ill-be-there-soon-when-lydia-turns)
> 
> Thanks to songof-light for creating this beatiful title card! (I really loved it)
> 
> And thank you rongasm, stilesbanshee, itsalwayslydia, hollandroden, fudgythewhale, lumosed and youaretoosmart for organizing the big bang. I can not wait to read every fic. 
> 
> and guys, Stydia is canon!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

The first thing Lydia does every birthday when she wakes up is to check her phone, ignoring all the random messages from people she doesn’t care about and reading what her best friend wrote for her. Allison likes to write these long paragraphs wishing her a happy birthday, which at first, Lydia thought it was super cheesy but now she thinks it’s also cute, despite still having the same opinion. Allison likes to write these long paragraphs wishing her a happy birthday, which at first, Lydia thought was super cheesy but now she thinks it’s also cute, despite still being super cheesy.

But today is different. Today the wind feels a little bit cooler and her bed is too warm to leave. Today she turns eighteen and a mark appears on her body. The Mark. The one that her grandmother kept telling her about when she was a kid, once they were done with the books she wanted to read. The one that she always looks for more information when she can’t sleep because she is amazed by the mythology behind it and because she is Lydia Martin, she truly enjoys learning even though when high school started she used to pretend she was not smart.  The one that she always looks up more information about when she can’t sleep because she is amazed by the mythology behind it and because she is Lydia Martin, she truly enjoys learning. The one that burns when you meet your soulmate, the one that shows you how many days this person has left on earth.

Why would anybody want to know when the presumed love of their life is going to die? Wouldn’t it be better to just live your life without having to worry about soulmates?

She never believed it though, but she was always curious about the history behind those marks. In one of her searches, she found out that the mark only appears when you turn eighteen because you need to find out who you are first and then spend the rest of your life with someone. Maybe, that’s maybe her favorite thing about it

That’s not how it works in the real world, though. The mark doesn’t guarantee happy endings.  The mark doesn’t even guarantee happy _middles._

Her parents are soulmates but that didn’t mean anything when they decided to get a divorce. She knows many couples who are unhappy but stay together just because they are soulmates. Whatever, she’s not gonna live her life by believing in fate. People fall in love more than once and it’s not a mark on your body that’s gonna tell you who you’re supposed to be with. It would be too easy and Lydia knows life isn’t.

There are many reasons to explain why she doesn’t believe in it, but when she wakes up her curiosity is killing her so, she jumps out of bed and goes straight to the mirror to find her mark.

And that’s when she sees it. A tiny number on her wrist, like it was written in a sloppy handwriting. It’s almost funny because It looks like a tattoo someone would get when they’re drunk.

 (And when the tattoo artist is also drunk.)  

But then she realizes what this number means and the moment is completely gone.

500.

500 days without him.

She doesn’t believe in soulmates, she repeats to herself, still standing in front of the mirror. But how can the universe be so cruel? 

*

She hates that her mark appeared in such a visible place so she covers it with concealer to avoid the whispers in the hallway. Lydia learned excessively early how to figure out if the whispers are about her; they usually are but she doesn’t care anymore. Everyone knows it’s her birthday, everyone is going to pay extra attention on her today, just to find out about the mark.

The mark isn’t as big a deal as it was years ago, people fall in love despite not being soulmates but this is high school and people are stupid and childish as fuck. She can already feel people’s eyes on her. She heard some girls wondering if her ex-boyfriend is her soulmate but her mark is still black, that means she didn’t meet the person yet, _thank god_ , she thinks to herself **.** Jackson is an asshole.

She goes to the bathroom and reapplies the concealer on her mark before she goes to class. She also reapplies her lipstick, today she needs the extra confidence make up gives her, so after checking what it feels like war paint, she leaves the bathroom and goes to class.

“So, how was it?” Allison greets her in front of her biology class and Lydia pretends she hasn't been avoiding her best friend since she parked her car. Allison is the complete opposite of Lydia when the subject is about the Mark. She’s a hopeless romantic and wouldn’t shut up about it when they were kids. She talked about it so much when they were ten that Lydia did a research and showed her all the scientific mistakes people were able to find while searching the origin of the marks. She didn’t care, though. She just said ok and left ten-year-old Lydia annoyed as ever.

“Well, happy birthday to me.” Lydia says ironically, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, I already whished you a happy one and you didn’t even reply.”

“I am obligated to?”

“Ok, enough, happy birthday. Can I see your mark now?” she says with a smile on her face and Lydia feels her heartbeat going crazy because 1) she can’t show her mark in front of everyone and 2) she doesn’t want to.

“It’s on my thigh” she quickly lies to Allison, probably the first time in ages. She just will not be able to stand the look of pity her friend will give her.

“Can I see it?”

She tries her best to keep a smile on her face, not forcing too much tough, knowing that Allison can find out anytime that she’s lying.

“I’m wearing jeans and we are in the middle of the hallway so I’ll give you a solid no.”

“This is the first time in like weeks that you’re not wearing a skirt, how convenient.” She says laughing and turning around to go to her geography class. She has her hair in a ponytail and Lydia can see her mark on the back of her neck. Allison believes deeply in the marks and in love. When her mark appeared almost a year ago, Lydia was the first person Allison called, despite knowing that her best friend never cared about it. But Lydia drove to the Argent house at 3 in morning because that’s what best friends do. Allison loves the mark and everything about it but there is one problem: her boyfriend, Isaac Lahey, isn’t her soulmate, but she ignores this fact for now. They both do.

21900.

At least her best friend has a lot of time left with her soulmate, whoever they may be.

*

For some reason, Lydia thought she would meet her soulmate the day her mark appeared.

(Not that she’s waiting.

Not that she’s curious.

She’s not curious at all.)

But the days are passing and she still has no idea who that person is.

Her curiosity isn’t killing her at all.

*

“You seriously wanna go to Beacon Hills  in this jeep?”

“It is a two hour drive, Scott.”

“I’m not sure this jeep can handle a two minute drive.”

“Ha. Very funny, Scotty. Besides, it was your idea, not mine. I’m not even friends with this guy.”

“You’ve meet Isaac countless times.”

“And we’re still not friends.”

“Stiles, behave.”

“Only if we use the jeep.”

Scott sighs and finally agrees. “OK.”

*

“Danny is having a party tomorrow night.” Lydia says as she meets Allison after class. She doesn’t necessary wants to go but it will be a good distraction. His parties are always a great distraction.

“I know. Isaac invited his friends from the lacrosse camp he went two years ago. Scott and Stiles, I think.”

“What the hell is a Stiles?”

Her friend laughs and they get into her car.

*

Danny’s party is far from quiet, as usual. People are dancing, drinking and having fun.

 Everything is normal for most part of the night so the last thing Lydia expected from this night was to find out that Scott, Isaac’s friend, is Allison’s soulmate. It’s impossible to ignore this now.

She gets a text from her friend and without thinking twice, she searches the entire party looking for Allison. No one seems to know where she is, obviously, cause most people are too drunk to pay attention to anything. When she finally finds Allison, in Danny’s room, where the three of them used to spend so many hours watching movies when they were kids, she pays attention to every detail Allison tells her and holds her hand while her best friend cries but Lydia does not ask how his mark looked like. She’s not brave enough for this.

She doesn’t need to know when her best friend will die.

*

“Oh, sorry.” He says as he stumbles at a very annoyed strawberry blonde as she leaves the bathroom. She’s so pretty he almost can’t stop looking at her. She’s Allison’s friend, he thinks, according to Scott’s descriptions of her. “Have you seen Scott?”

“Hum. No.”

“Shit.”

“Have you seen Allison?”

“You know what’s been going on.”

“Yeah. I’m Lydia Martin.” He is sure the world became brighter when she introduced herself, and he isn’t high or anything like that yet. “Allison’s best friend.”

“Stiles.”

“They are probably talking somewhere, we should just give them space, and besides, no one is looking for Isaac.”

“He left a few minutes ago.”

“And you just let him?” judging by her voice she is more annoyed than she was at the beginning of this conversation.

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Hum, I don’t know, I’ve kinda never been in a situation like this.” She says, rolling her eyes.

“Kinda?”

She gives him a look and he is terrified, but he also likes it.

A lot.

“So, have you seen Allison?”

“No but she’s probably talking to Scott and I don’t know where he is either.”

She rolls her eyes, “You can’t find your best friend.”

“And you can't find yours.”

“I’m aware of that, thank you.” She gives him her fake smile, the one she gives almost everyone, except Allison and her mom, probably. “Well, I want to go home and I have no idea where she is.”

She knocks in one of the bedrooms, the one that belongs to Danny’s sister.

“You wouldn’t want to see what’s behind this door, trust me.”

Ugh, Danny’s parties are famous for many reasons, one of them being how easy it is to use any room of the house for sex.

“I can’t just leave her here.”

“Text her.”

“Oh I didn’t think of that, thank you” she replies with irony, “Her phone is dead.”

“Hum… ok. I’ll give her your message.”

“ We came with my car, I can’t just leave.”

“I’ll give her a ride home.”

“Sure, we’ve just met and I completely trust you.”

“I’m just trying to be nice since our best friends are soul mates.”

“And that’s a good reason why I should trust someone?”

“It should be.”

“I don’t think so. Help me find her.”

“Again?”

“Again.”

She takes his hand and they disappear into the crowd.

*

 

Isaac breaks up with Allison and she starts spending more time with Scott. Consequently, Lydia starts spending more time with Stiles.

“God, they are so annoying,” she says on the passenger side of the jeep while the four of them are coming back from the movies.

“They will hear you.”

“I don’t care and besides, it’s not like they have supernatural hearing or stuff.”

“Yep, they are annoying.” He says a bit louder than the tone of their voices and she doesn’t know why but she laughs.

“Shhhh.”

“You’re the one who said-“

“Only because they wouldn’t be able to hear us.”

“Oh don’t worry, they are too stuck in their conversation I bet they aren’t paying attention to us, I bet they don’t even know where we are.”

“Stiles.” She looks at him with a smirk.

“Yeah?”

“Turn around, let’s see how many minutes it takes for them to realize we’re driving in circles.”

He turns around, there is no sign Scott and Allison realized it.

“Why are people with marks are so…?”

“Annoying?” she raises her eyebrows.

“I was gonna say romantic.”

“People with marks, so you don’t have one?”

Some people don’t get their mark when they are eighteen, sometimes they get it when they are older but it’s like 2% of the population and science hasn’t been able to figure out why. Then again, science hasn’t been able to explain how the marks work. She finds herself slightly more interested in him.

“Nope, not yet, I’ll turn eighteen in a month.” He says and she is  a bit disappointed by it, “And you?”

“Last month, I’m ‘people with marks’.”

“Yeah but you’re not annoying.”

“Or romantic.”

He laughs and it’s so effortless and it feels like it’s just the two of them in the jeep. Now, they are the ones who don’t remember they have company.

“How’s it like?”

“Woke up, saw the mark, continued my life, I guess.”

“Did you feel any different?”

“No, I felt like myself but with something new people would be curious about.”

“So you don’t believe it?”

“No, why would we fall in love with someone just because some mark says so?”

“Maybe the marks are just a way of making it easier. See, I think soulmates would fall for each other even if the marks weren’t real.”

“That means you don’t believe it either.”

“No, I do believe it. I just think there are more logical ways to think about it.”

“I know you want to ask.” She looks at him and her eyes meets his gaze but when he opens his mouth he looks straight, like he’s trying to avoid looking into her eyes.

“I want to but I don’t think you’d like to answer.”

“I’ve never showed it to anyone.”

“That’s okay.”

“Not even Allison.”

“That’s okay.”

He nods his head, still focusing on the road.

“Stiles,” she pauses, trying to find the right words, “thank you. For not asking.”

“Anytime.”

Stiles and Lydia stay in silence until Scott points out that they are driving in circles, fifteen minutes later.

 

*

 

They get closer.

Stiles and Lydia.

Lydia and Stiles.

Suddenly it’s the two of them together for everything.

Stiles and Lydia.

Lydia and Stiles.

Movie nights, studying, talking on the phone.

Stiles and Lydia.

Lydia and Stiles.

They become a pattern.

 

*

 

They begin to text.  Non-stop.

From Stiles Stilisnki:   

_I’m going to Beacon Hills this weekend._

To Stiles Stilisnki :

_Gee, it’s been two weeks. Already missing me?_

Fuck. She wants to delete it as soon as she sends it.

From Stiles Stilinski:

_Yeah._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_And my best friend has a date with your best friend._

To Stiles Stilisnki:

_So, you’re third wheeling? Sounds interesting._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_I’m hanging out with you. Duhhhh._

To Stiles Stilisnki:

_Oh sorry, I must have forgotten that you asked me to._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_Do you want to do something this Friday?_

To Stiles Stilisnki:

_I’m gonna have to check my schedule._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_Can you do it while you’re in math class?_

To Stiles Stilisnki:

_Please, I have more interesting things to do. Paying attention in class for example._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_Talking to me for example._

To Stiles Stilisnki:

_It’s not my fault you’ve been distracting me._

To Stiles Stilisnki:

_It’s not my fault you’re texting me._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_It’s your fault you’re replying._

To Stiles Stilisnki:

_Aren’t you supposed to be in history by the way???_

From Stiles Stilinski:

_I am. But it’s so boring._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_Soooooooooo booooooooring._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_So so so so boring._

To Stiles Stilinski:

_Ok, I get it. It’s boring._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_So, are you hanging out with me on Friday?_

To Stiles Stilinski:

_Yes._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_Great._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_I’m glad you’ve been able to check your schedule in the middle of a such important class._

To Stiles Stilinski:

_I know that tone._

To Stiles Stilinski:

_Math IS important._

To Stiles Stilinski:

_I just happen to know this subject already._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_Which one?_

To Stiles Stilinski:

_Reymann Hypothesis._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_That stuff goes completely over my head._

To Stiles Stilinski:

_If you want, I can help you study._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_You don’t mind? There are more fun things to do on a Friday night._

To Stiles Stilinski:

_Stiles, it’s beacon hills, nothing happens here._

To Stiles Stilinski:

_And studying can be fun._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_Only with you._

 

*

 

It’s a twenty five minute drive from Beacon Hills to where stiles lives and for some reason her heart starts beating faster as she gets closer to his house. She’s never been there before. They usually hang out at her house or somewhere in Beacon Hills, but, as soon as she enters his place, she decides she likes it better. His house is full of pictures, mostly his mom and some of him and Scott when they were kids. It feels like it’s a house full of memories.

His room is, hum, unique, for lack of a better word. There is a huge board taking most of the room, which he tells her later is a conspiracy board, meaning, every time he can’t sleep he researches things and he needs to visualize it.

There are other aspects of his room that caught her attention, a fish tank without a fish, some books on the floor and a drawing on his bedside table. Her drawing, to be more precise. The one she gave him a week ago but she didn’t think he would keep, it’s not even an amazing drawing anyway, it’s just a tree. The bedside table doesn’t look like a permanent place for it, it almost looks like he’s waiting to frame it.

She is scared that he likes her so much that he is going to frame one of her drawings, she is scared that he is the only person who can see though her; she is scared that she is falling in love with him.

It’s just a drawing, she tells herself after staring at it for too long.

He makes her feel at home. Without thinking about it she takes off her shoes and sits barefoot on his bed.

“Do you want anything?” Stiles asks, siting by her side.

She gives one last look at his bedside table before turning to look at him, “No, thanks.”

“Are you sure? I could make you some-“

Too bright red strings on his board on the opposite side of the room, his eyes too soft: being with Stiles makes her see things differently.

She cuts him off by kissing him.

It’s soft and sweet at first, like they’re still shy but then it is so intense that feels like discovering a new universe.

Stiles makes her forget about soulmates and almost everything else in the world, especially when he looks at her like this, like she’s his entire world. It happens often but the fact that he’s looking at her like this while they are alone in her bedroom makes her want to kiss him forever.

She’s so lost in his eyes that she doesn’t even realizes that they are this close. Her first instinct is to kiss him, so passionately, like she’s telling him that he is hers. At the same, she is telling him that she is his. The universe didn’t tell them they belong together but they know they do, and that’s enough for both of them. 

Suddenly, he starts to kiss her everywhere, her forehead, the tip of her nose, her rosy cheeks. He kisses her neck, like he’s discovering her and she lets him. He kisses every inch of her skin for the first time. He discovers an entire universe on Lydia Martin. She is his sun, moon and stars; she is everything, his everything. His hand goes south while he kisses her collar bone, touching her inner thigh and she lets out a soft moan that is music to his ears.

“You want this?” he asks, voice trembling.

Lydia bites her lower lip, “I want you.”

 

*

 

11:23pm

Scott plans a surprise birthday party for Stiles and Lydia and Allison help him with the decoration, it is fun to organize, she's always loved it. When people start arriving she sees some familiar faces, Malia, Kira, Mason and Liam, who she had met before, and Cora, who she’s meeting for the first time today. She spends most of the night talking to them, and it’s not because they are Stiles’ friends, she has started to truly care about them over the past month, especially the girls, they even had a girls night out one day with Lydia, Allison, Kira and Malia. It’s good to have more female friends.

Isaac is at the party too and she makes sure he’s not alone all the time because it’s kinda awkward but she knows he’s trying his best to remain friends with them, despite how heartbreaking this situation can be. She thinks he should be friends with Kira because she’s been in his situation, she used to date Scott and they broke up before he met Allison but still, it can’t be easy for her and she seems to be handling everything fine ** _:_** she’s friends with Scott and Allison, so she’s doing better than Isaac.

It must be hard seeing the person you love being someone else’s soulmate.  It must be even harder seeing the person you love being in love with someone else.

In a few minutes, a mark will appear on Stile’s body and even though she does not believe in it, it must sucks for his soulmate because he is in love with Lydia and she has a feeling this won’t change anytime soon.

11:35pm

‘What’s it like to see your ex with his soulmate?” Lydia wants to prepare herself for whatever comes next, she’s usually not that insecure but the curiosity is killing her. Maybe asking Kira this question was a mistake, they aren’t that close yet but when her friend gives her a smile before answering she knows it’s okay to talk about it.

“The decision to break up was mutual and it had nothing to do with the marks so I don’t really mind. And we decided to remain friend, but yeah, sometimes it’s awkward but not because they are soulmates, it’s because he is with someone else.” Kira tries to read the strawberry blonde’s expression. “Lydia, is this because-“

“He will be eighteen in a few minutes. What if his soulmate is someone we know? What if I have to live knowing that his soulmate is right in front of us?”

“But you don’t believe in it.”

“I don’t but he does.”

“True.” She laughs because it doesn’t make sense for Lydia to be feeling like this. “But he’s in love with you and you know tonight won’t change anything.”

She smiles to her new friend and she’s glad they had this talk.

Nothing will change after tonight.

11:45pm

Stiles arrives at the party. She can’t stop looking at his smile.

12:00pm

While most of his friends are saying “Happy birthday” to him, Lydia feels her wrist burning. This can’t be a good thing.

“Stiles, we need to talk.” She says and immediately holds his hand, guiding him to his bedroom.”

“What’s going on?” She can tell by the look on his face that he is worried. “Lyds, what happened?”

“Let me see your mark,” she touches his shirt and her hands are shaking.

He notices so he takes off his shirt for her, “I thought we both agreed this doesn’t matter. I love you, Lydia. Look at me. I love you, ok? This is a fact, it won’t change. Having someone else as my soulmate won’t change the way I feel about you.”

This is the first time he says “I love you” and she feels the same way but she doesn’t have the strength for saying it out loud right now.

“That’s not the problem.” She says, crying.

“Then what it is?”

She touches his body, tracing her delicate fingers on his mark, “Do you feel your skin burning?”

“Yeah. Oh fuck,” he smiles, “that means we’re…”

“Yes.”

He still doesn’t understand why she’s crying. He gets that she doesn’t believe in the marks but this should be a good thing, it won’t change anything.

“I need to show you something,” her voice is low. This is a side of Lydia Stiles has not seen before but that’s okay, he wants to see every part of her, he wants to see everything, the good and the bad. He wants to hug her and tell her everything is going to be fine even though he has no idea what’s wrong, he wants to do it for the rest of their lives.

She comes back from this bathroom with her hand on her wrist and sits beside him on the bed, she lets out a breath and says, voice still broken, “That’s the problem.”

He sees her mark for the first time and words are not needed in that moment. He sees how many days he has left but he doesn’t worry about himself, he worries about her, what’s gonna be like for her when he’s gone.

They don’t come back for the party, they just lay in this bed, wishing the universe had better plans for them.

 

*

 

Lydia’s skincare routine has always been her relaxing time. First a bath, where she exfoliates her entire body. Then there’s the time she focus on her face, she washes and moisturizes it while listening to some acoustic songs. Once she’s done, she goes to her bed and reads a book before falling asleep but for some reason she can’t do it tonight. She can’t focus on the book enough to know what she’s reading, she has read the same paragraph four times and still has no idea what it is about.  It could be something about the Everest or the moon; she honestly has no idea. She’s exhausted. Just exhausted. Lydia knows why she is feeling this way but she doesn’t want to talk about it, she doesn’t even want to think about it. She wants to distract herself enough so she doesn’t think about it, about him.

When she is about to  turn off the lights her phone buzzes.

From Stiles Stilinski:

_You’re awake?_

She considers answering it for a moment but keeps staring at the screen instead.

From Stiles Stilinski:

_I can see the lights in your bedroom._

From Stiles Stilinski:

_First big window on the second floor, right?_

She gets out of bed without bothering answering his text. She knows Stiles is outside waiting for her and she misses him like crazy but she is not excited to see him tonight.

Lydia has only two options: a) go back to bed and pretend nothing happened and b) face her reality.

She chooses the latter, after thinking about it. It’s heartbreaking but it’s the right choice. Lydia opens the door and Stiles lets out a breath, like he is relaxing for the first time since his birthday. It’s like seeing her made him breathe again.

She can not believe how broken he looks, his eyes not as bright as they once were. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days, which is not that difficult to believe. He is right in front of her but she can’t read his expression, for the first time, he is a mystery to her.  He’s probably mad at her, yeah, he should be mad at her, she thinks, who finds out their soulmate and completely ignores the person for five days?

Her situation is terrible but his is far worse, he’s the one who’s going to die soon.

He is going to die.

Her boyfriend is going to die.

Her soulmate is going to die.

He should be mad at her.

She thinks he’s going to break up with her, she thinks he probably doesn’t want to see her again, she thinks-

The he does the thing she wanted but didn’t expect. He kisses her, passionately. She feels his tongue inside her mouth as if it was the first time but it also feels so familiar. Their tongues dance on their own rhythm, the rhythm they created together. Their bodies, their minds, so close. It feels like home.

“I was hoping we could talk,” he says when they enter her bedroom, “since, you know, you didn’t return any of my texts or calls in the last five days.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You had your reasons.”

“I did but I was selfish.”

“I know this is too much to handle.”

“What?” she isn’t sure where he is going with this conversation.

“If you want to break up, I understand.”

“No, Stiles.” It makes her so mad that he though she wanted to break up but she can’t blame him, “I only backed off because I needed time to deal with my feelings.” _To deal with the voices inside my head._

He doesn’t reply, she just takes her hand and drags them to her bed.

“Tell me about the future.”

“Lydia, that’s not gonna make it better” he says, cupping her cheeks.

“I know, but it will until I fall asleep.”

So he does, he tells her stories about their future.

 

*

 

Lydia has the number one tattooed on her wrist, where once, it was 500. She wishes she could go back in time, re-live every moment she spent with him. She would do anything to have more time with Stiles but that’s not how the universe works. There are no miracles. The mark never lies. Her soulmate, her boyfriend, her emotional tether is going to die tomorrow and there’s nothing she can do to stop it from happening. She feels utterly weak, like she never felt before.

She wants to be with him until his last breath but Stiles doesn’t want her to see him dying. He doesn’t even know how he’s going to die, so he decided to say goodbye the day before, just in case.

“I don’t want you to be alone.” She wants to say a thousand things, but this is what comes from her mouth, it tastes bitter and sad, she wants to scream, she wants to run with him, she wants to change their destiny.

“I won’t be, I’ll have you in my mind the entire time.”

“Stiles.” It’s almost a whine and it breaks her. It breaks him too.

“Lyds, I can’t – I just can’t.”

“You’re so stubborn it makes me exhausted,” she says, more to herself than to him then her eyes meets his gaze. “Hope you know this.”

“And you love me anyways ** _._** ” He lets out a deep breath. Stiles talks as if he’s not the one who’s going to die, he makes sure she’s okay even though his entire world is falling apart. “Close your eyes, keep them closed. Can you do that for me? Just open them when I’m gone otherwise I won’t be able to leave and I hate it, Lydia, I hate it so much but I have to leave, you can’t watch me die, it will break you.”

“I’m already broken.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t do this, just don’t.”

“Sorry.”

“Stiles.”

“I don’t know what to say, okay? You do not deserve this. You deserved a soulmate with many days left on earth, fuck, with _years_ , you deserved to grow old with the person you love, get married, maybe have a kid. You deserved to be with your soulmate when you win the Fields Medal. I’m so sorry I can’t give that to you.”

“It’s okay.”

_It isn’t._

He doesn’t say anything so she hugs him closer and stands on the tip of her toes so that she’s able to rest her face on his shoulders. She pays extra attention to his neck, he smells like her and that doesn’t surprise her at all, she’s a part of him by now.

She thinks about the day they met and the odds that they are soulmates while their best friends are also soulmates, she thinks about the double dates they had and the ones they should have in the future.

It hurts to think about the future.

Everything is uncertain; expect the fact that tomorrow her mark will change again, but for the last time.

“I’d rather have less than 500 days with you than a lifetime with anybody else.”

“Me too,” tears are falling from his eyes, “just remember, remember I love you.”

Lydia feels Stiles’ body slowly getting away from her and she immediately feels a huge void. She can’t open her eyes yet but she hears him closing the jeep’s door then turning it on. She can’t see it but she feels him driving away from this place, driving away from her, the void getting bigger, the air getting colder. The pain getting worse.

 

*

 

When she wakes up, another number appears on her wrist, this time in red but with the same sloppy handwriting.

_22676._

That’s how many days she has left on this universe ** _._** This is also how many days until she meets him again. Where? She has no idea.

22676  days equals 62 years, one month and fifteen days ** _._** She does the math, and feels her heart breaking even more.

She doesn’t believe in soulmates, she repeats to herself, she does believe in love, though.

But how can the universe be so cruel?

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!  
> You can find me at lydiamarkin on tumblr :)


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